This Little Piggy Went to Jail

Amelia has entered August feet first.  She discovered her appendages a few days ago and now can’t keep them out of her mouth when getting her diaper changed.  This morning Dave started the day’s diaper duty and Amelia let out a scream because he dared remove her toes.

In honor of her new-found ability, I tried to recite “This Little Piggy” as I wiggled her toes.  After saying “This little piggy went to the market” my mind went blank.  What comes next?  Without any irony, I smiled at Amelia and continued with “This little piggy went to jail.”

Later that evening, I earnestly asked Dave what came after “This little piggy went to jail.”  He looked puzzled, so I clarified:  “You know, this little piggy went to the market, this little piggy went to jail….”  He burst out laughing, and, taking delight in my accidentally made up lyrics, finished the rhyme on the spot:  “This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy went to jail, this little piggy went to rehab, and this little piggy posted bail.”  Well, that certainly didn’t sound right.

Suddenly realizing how strange “This little piggy went to jail” sounded, I lamented, once again, my missing mommy gene that was supposed to supply all these nursery rhymes in the moments I needed them.  I had Dave go through as many of the rhymes he could remember.  He laughed as he recited the proper versions of “Patty Cake” and “Itsy Bitsy Spider.”  I felt like I should be taking notes (for the record, I have since purchased a nursery rhyme album off of itunes and that has helped immensely).

I just looked up the actual lyrics to “This Little Piggy”:

This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed at home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none.  And this little piggy went “wee wee wee” all the way home.

Frankly, I think that sounds just as weird.