I’m Back(ish)

I took a long long hiatus from this blog and almost stopped paying my liquid web fee because I had no time, energy, or inclination to talk about myself and motherhood. I started this blog because it was fun and it stopped being fun, what with the morning sickness, the transition to toddlerhood, the difficult delivery and birth of my luckily not as difficult as Amelia baby boy, and the NO SLEEP that comes with having a two month old. I have no illusions of blog grandeur and figured my online echo chamber could disappear forever, but the blog bug bit me at 2 in the morning (because I’m up at 2 in the morning on a regular basis. Did I mention I don’t sleep? I told Dave my only fantasy is to check into a hotel room by myself, eat cheesecake, and sleep until I can’t sleep anymore). This isn’t a viral blog, so like a good diet (ahem eating plan), I shouldn’t fall prey to the all or nothing syndrome. Just because I fell off the posting and recording wagon, doesn’t mean I’m gone forever.

The biggest, and I mean BIGGEST, event, not counting my expanding feet, since last posting was the birth of Henry, all 10 pounds 7 ounces of him. Take a moment to be amazed. He was the largest baby my midwife had ever delivered and no, I didn’t have a c-section (but was told by even the most earthy crunchy of the midwives that any future children would need to come via a section due to their “trending upward” weight. I am not a large woman and Henry had some difficulty after coming out.) All went mostly well after the initial Henry not crying and almost being taken to the NICU drama. For the record, despite my hippie tendencies, I will never ever ever speak ill of epidurals. In two cases, they prevented a c-section and I pushed for less than a half hour, so there.

I’m living in a tired cloud right now. This has been said before by I don’t know whom, probably by everyone, that having two babies is not doubly difficult, but rather exponentially more difficult. This is true and this is why Amelia frequents a lovely daycare twice a week.

I don’t know a lot about motherhood, but a second baby does teach you just how much personality is part of our God-given DNA. Nurture matters, but wow, nature is ingrained. I feel a little foolish about my past attempts to explain or qualify Amelia’s behavior based solely on what I was or was not doing as a mother. Henry has taught me that some personality traits just are. Knowing this has taken a lot of the pressure off me, yet somehow has not stalled my incessant reading about parenthood, but that is for another post.