Why oh why can’t politicians and journalists talk about stay at home moms without sounding tone deaf? The majority of moms work outside the home, but about a 1/4 stay home. After political consultant Hilary Rosen’s completely tone deaf and politically stupid comment about Ann Romney, the Internet is blowing up with people criticizing or defending Rosen (She said that Ann Romney had “never worked a day in her life.”) The Right is using this moment to valorize stay at home moms and pretend like they are the party for Women, while the Left is trying to defend Rosen by suggesting the opportunity to be a stay at home mom is limited to the elite. To be fair, President Obama quickly distanced himself from Rosen, and Rosen eventually apologized.
Newsroom
Like pretty much everyone everywhere, perhaps a slight exaggeration, the fam is getting over an early spring cold. Rather oddly Dave and I have gotten this thing in piecemeal. A sore throat one day, then stuffy nose, etc… without a whole lot of overlapping symptoms. Amelia, the family carrier of said cold because of her triweekly daycare (does triweekly mean every three weeks or 3x a week?) still has a slight runny nose, but manages to never act sick even as she is coughing up a lung. Henry on the other hand, wee little babe, still looks pathetic. He suffers the most because his immune system is still wee and little.
My last post was poking fun at the decorating/organizing blogs popping up on the Internet, but truthfully I LOVE those blogs. They give me crafty hope and they are a bit like organization porn, a guilty pleasure because I’m sure I should be doing something else with the time I spend contemplating minutiae projects (my term), projects like painting drawer knobs or cutting out chalkboard labels.
Are you overthinking parenting? An economist explains why this might be a waste of time.
As you may have noticed, I’ve cut down on my posts to roughly two a week. I was contemplating just doing away with the Newsroom category altogether, but then I remembered that while my production has decreased my internet consumption has not. I’m crediting my insatiable appetite for knowledge and not my poor parenting skills for this constancy (but to be fair, I am at my parents’ house and have someone else to amuse Amelia, so it’s not like I’m neglecting her. Do you hear that Dad? I’m not neglecting her. This is my vacation). Anyway, enough inappropriate insights into my family dynamics and on to the cool stuff I’ve found online.
Potty training. Yuck. My brain is about to explode. I literally just read a 50 page evidence report called “The Effectiveness of Different Methods of Toilet Training for Bowel and Bladder Control” done by The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. It was about as exciting as it sounds.
Why was I reading an evidence report, the kind of literature that includes lots of abstracts and objectives and executive summaries? I’m starting to not trust anything about toilet training and it’s driving me crazy. Some people claim we Americans are waiting too long (white Americans I should say) by pushing toilet training to 2.5, 3, or even beyond years. Others suggest we make like our forebears and Europeans and force the issue before 18 months. Still others are all about elimination communication, the practice of toilet training from birth. Some say do it all in a day. Others say wait for the kid to decide. The American Academy of Pediatrics and Mayo Clinic support the child readiness approach, as does the Canadian version of the AAP, but Google toilet training and you will find a plethora of opinions, most of which have very little actual research to back them up, which means like with so many other parenting topics, no one really knows what is best.
I have a problem, but not one I’m willing to solve any time soon. I read too many parenting books, hardly a surprise (the blog is called overthinking mom after all). I read a ton before Amelia was born and then revolted against these books by doing a podcast on the history of mothering manuals, revealing the changing and contradictory advice peddled to make moms feel guilty throughout the centuries (information I got from reading a book about this history). I stopped reading for a while (maybe a couple months), but then Amelia had colic, so I read about that. Now, at 15 months, my precious non-colicky new toddler is super spirited, which I actually love about her, but I’m exhausted. What do I do when exhausted? I read.
The first time around I was overwhelmed by the contradictory advice. Now I’m a bit more confident in my parenting choices and have learned what to toss aside and what to take to heart, not that the advice I’m tossing aside is garbage, but at some point you have to decide if you are a crib mom or a co-sleeper, a cry it out or an attachment parent, a time outer or a connector, etc…
